Thursday, February 28, 2013

WHOA HEY HERE'S THE MUSIC FEST LINE-UP

Good afternoon, weirdos, here is your Beale Street Music Festival line-up. I will have a Spotify playlist of the best stuff that is coming, in my esteemed opinion, later on today or tomorrow or maybe next week, stop pressuring me. [click to embiggen, as usual.]


Or, in handy list form:

The Black Keys - Alice in Chains - Bassnectar - Daryl Hall & John Oates - Flaming Lips - Phoenix - The Smashing Pumpkins - ZZ Top - The Black Crowes - The Roots - Sheryl Crow - Gary Clark Jr. - Dwight Yoakam - Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros - Public Enemy - Three Days Grace - Gavin Degraw - The Wallflowers - Big Boi - Deftones - Jerry Lee Lewis - Patti Smith - Porter Robinson - Mavis Staples - AWOLNATION - Papa Roach - MiM0SA - Gov’t Mule - The Joy Formidable - Lucero - Cracker - Yngwie Malmsteen - Charles Bradley - Al Kapone - Deer Tick - Vintage Trouble - Jake Bugg - Coco Montoya - Louise Hoffsten - Davy Knowles - Sonny Burgess and the Legendary Pacers - Shannon McNally - Pickwick - Zac Harmon - The Slide Brothers - Star and Micey - Ronnie Baker Brooks - River City Tanlines - Heritage Blues Orchestra - James SuperChikan Johnson - Jimbo Mathus & The Tri-State Coalition - Royal Southern Brotherhood - Will Tucker - Don Trip - Heartless Bastards - Kenny Brown - Brandon Bailey - Marcus James & Kinney Kimbrough - Matt Isbell - Barbara Blue - Kingston Springs - Brad Webb - Blind Mississippi Morris - Fuzzy Jeffries & the Kings of Memphis

So, what do you all think?! I can tell you right now that Effin' Memphis will do everything possible to attend all the musical performances in bold, with a heavy emphasis on the Deer Tick and the Patti Smith parts. As I said, stay tuned for later, when I'll have a handy Spotify playlist of the best of this year's line-up, and also look for another post about the amazing next few weeks of live music in Memphis.



Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Welcome to Memphis, Birthplace Of Tacky Signage?

ACTION ALERT: The point of Effin' Memphis (or one of them, anyway), is to start mobilizing people to action in ways large and small, for the purpose of giving back to the city and making it a better place. Well, here is one place you can show up to make your voice heard.

When? 4:00 PM next Wednesday, March 6.

Where? The Downtown Review Board meeting at the Downtown Memphis Commission at 114 North Main.

What ghastly thing are we trying to prevent? Here is a rendering, via The Commercial Appeal, of the signage that Bass Pro Shops would like to stick on all sides of the Pyramid.


Noooooooooooo. Won't somebody please think of the children? The ones in Harbor Town? 

Bass Pro Shops wants eye-popping oval logo signs 90-foot-wide by 66-foot-high on each face of the 32-story Pyramid.  
Looming along the Interstate 40 gateway into Memphis, the big signs featuring a jumping largemouth bass logo would likely draw motorists’ attention from the other smaller outdoor billboards long in place and signs atop the office towers lining the Downtown riverfront.  
“Wow,” said architect Chooch Pickard upon seeing drawings of the signs for the first time. He called them “inappropriate in Downtown Memphis along the river.” 

"Wow," said the architect. Even better, the proposed signs are backlit, which means that everyone who lives in the area will be able to see our new Great Sphinx, in the form of a shining large-mouthed bass, glowing on their walls at night while they're trying to sleep.

So there you go. Show up at that meeting and make your voice heard.

Friday, February 22, 2013

Kroc Center Grand Opening Features Musical Performances, Implicit Anti-Gay Bigotry

It's fun for the whole family, as long as your family doesn't include at least one LGBT person! And really, if you have a family that you remotely keep up with, your family has at least one LGBT person! (If you think it doesn't, they're probably hiding it, and you're the problem.)

So yeah, right next to Memphis's gayest neighborhood (you know, the one that actually makes national lists for good reasons) at the dilapidated, ugly fairgrounds, the Salvation Army Kroc Center is opening this weekend:


Kroc Center, the Salvation Army’s 104,211-square-foot super community hub, debuts this weekend with an open house and official dedication. A wide variety of attractions, entertainment and demonstrations will run throughout the day Saturday as befits the $31 million project that will offer sporting and fitness facilities, a three-story “Challenge Area,” theater and art programs, music education, and a performing arts center and banquet hall, both seating 300. 

Neat. They will have all of these things, and musical performances and all that shit, and you can rest assured that any money you spend there will likely find its way to trickling down and hurting an LGBT person in some way or another. In case this is all news to you, here's a handy video detailing the Salvation Army's anti-gay activities over the years:



Memphis...

One day you'll have actual nice things, as opposed to things that are sort of nice if you hold your nose the whole time. At least it's outside the Parkways.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

A Match Made At The Wal-Mart

Hello, Memphis, what are you doing? Oh, you're just seeing somebody really sexy and failing to muster up the courage to talk to them at the Wal-Mart, and then posting a "Missed Connection" on Craigslist in order to fulfill your lifelong fantasy of getting it on with a greeter? Well, then, you are like pretty much most of the South, according to this map which shows, state by state, where most of the failing to connect happens:


Take THAT, California. We don't need no stinkin' 24-Hour Fitness.

At least we're not Oklahoma, though. The state fair? Really? Is that pretty much all they do in Oklahoma?

And can we please all agree that we really don't want to know what's going on in Indiana, that the most likely place a person sees a "missed connection" is at home?

[h/t Joe My God]

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Stop Being Such Sad-Sack Tweeters, Memphis

Buncha sad-sack whiners, that's what you are.
Memphis made another list! We all know how exciting that is, because Memphis does really well on lists, in areas like "fattest" and "biggest shithole" and stuff like that. It really helps our self-esteem when we are on a list! So this study out of Vermont analyzed ten million tweets, from the Twitter Machine, all across America, and found that Memphis is one of the saddest Twitter-Twatter cities in the country, and also that you all fucking cuss a lot:


They also found that the Bible belt stretching across the American south and into Texas was less happy than the west or New England. The saddest town of the 373 urban areas studied was Beaumont in east Texas. The happiest was Napa, California, home of many drunk people wine makers. The only town among the 15 saddest that was not in the south or Rust Belt was Waterbury, Connecticut.

The writer at The Atlantic takes issue with some of the methodology, but quite frankly, I'm looking at the list of happiest and saddest cities and the company Memphis is keeping is pretty bleak indeed. So maybe clean up your filthy ass mouths and attempt to say something about butterflies or pie once in a while, you guys?

BONNAROO!

I suppose this doesn't fall into the category of "live music in Memphis," but I don't care, because Björk is coming to Bonnaroo. Now, your Effin' Memphis is aware that he is Old Now and probably doesn't want to deal with the crowds and oh god, the smelly people, and the "ugh," and the whatnot, and the constant complaining he would end up doing if he actually decided to go to Bonnaroo, but Björk is coming to Bonnaroo.

The festival is in Manchester, Tennessee and runs from June 13-16. Here is the full line-up [click to embiggen]:


We are also excited about Wilco, Pretty Lights, The National, The Lumineers, David Byrne & St. Vincent, beach House, Cat Power, Jim James, Gaslight Anthem, Sam Bush & Del McCoury, Foals, Dirty Projectors, Matt & Kim and SO MANY MORE. If you've skipped Bonnaroo the past few years, this line-up is worth giving all of the "ugh" another shot.

How To Win LGBT Equality -- Even In Red States

Editor's note: This piece was written in longer form by an equality activist from Pennsylvania named Adrian Shanker. I've edited it down to column length, but it floats some important themes related to ALL progressive struggles in red states like Tennessee, and illuminates the importance of not getting so focused on our pet issues that we forget to work with allies on causes across the board, as it strengthens our entire progressive voice. So regardless of whether LGBT equality is your top issue, take a gander, because this applies to immigrant rights, women's rights, poverty, institutionalized racism and pretty much every other thing that progressives care about. Many of the strategies herein are along the same lines of those employed by great local organizations like the Tennessee Equality Project.

by Adrian Shanker

The path toward victory for full, national, LGBT equality could not be clearer. National leaders know that in order to win nationwide, they need to start winning where it is less popular. That means changing how we fight for equality so we can win in less convenient places. It’s easier to fight for equality while swimming through deep blue waters, but for those of us who have chosen to fight for equality in the purple or red states, we have a bigger challenge, but also a bigger reward. When we win in "inconvenient" places, it confirms that we are winning the struggle nationwide.

For allies in the progressive movement who desperately want to expand civil rights to their LGBT constituents, the challenges are the same. Without the coalitions in place to support equality, and without public support in the places they represent, it is a challenge and a political risk for an elected official to lead on equality if the campaign is not winnable. As progressives in moderate or conservative states, we need to focus where we can win, because we know we can’t win everything. At the same time, civil rights for the LGBT community cannot wait indefinitely. There is a balance that needs to be reached. If the LGBT community can work with the progressive community to build alliances while simultaneously educating the community at-large about our issues, then we can build public support as well as political clout with our allies.

This means that LGBT activists need to multi-task. On one hand, continue building public support and broader coalitions for equality issues, and on the other, find an LGBT angle on issues that are coming to a head either more quickly or simultaneously. We need to continue building support for non-discrimination and relationship recognition – but with the understanding that when our issues may not be ready for a vote,  assisting our allies in their efforts to pass progressive legislation on their issues creates a win-win situation for all.

Doing this doesn’t mean taking a back seat, but rather (at times) taking the passenger seat. It means that the LGBT community will be fighting side-by-side with our progressive allies to win crucial reforms in moderate and conservative states. To be sure, not every issue is one in which it is appropriate for the LGBT community to engage itself. But for those of us who believe in intersectionality, that our struggles between communities are intrinsically linked, we know that by working together with our progressive allies, we are making our states more equal for all of us. And we can be sure that our allies will work just as hard when our issues are at the forefront.

With what seems like a rushing tide of LGBT victories nationwide, it can be hard to understand why we won't yet win on certain LGBT issues in certain places. The cultural context in which I was raised makes it difficult for me to understand people who don’t believe that every person is due equal access to opportunity. But we should remember that activists in deep blue states did not just wake up and win equality; they worked for years supporting progressive legislation tangentially related to LGBT equality, but more directly to the progressive movement. The same strategy is needed in purple and red states today.

I chose to live in and fight for equality in Pennsylvania because winning here is harder than in a sea of deep blue. But winning here also means changing how we communicate our issues. It requires using different messages, different tactics, and in some cases, even different spokespersons. The reality is that the path from now to marriage equality is long (Ed: Maybe. We'll see what SCOTUS does.), and the fact that New York and Maryland have done it does not mean that our legislature will move any faster. (Ed: Or that Tennessee's legislature won't do everything in its power to move us backward.] In Pennsylvania, much like a majority of southern and western states, we lack all forms of LGBT equality and yet, I feel that we are winning. It’s true that a statewide victory has not yet been within reach, but we have worked diligently to advance equality in an effective way despite the lack of state-level legislative success.

Our success in advancing equality has been possible due to one primary strategy: building political clout within the larger context of the progressive community.

In Pennsylvania, in the past years, we knew we weren’t going to get a statewide non-discrimination law pushed through the legislature, so we hunkered down and passed more than a dozen municipal ordinances. We knew we weren’t going to get a marriage equality law through the legislature, so we approached Mayors of cities large and small and asked them to endorse marriage equality. Both of these tactics worked in our favor because both dramatically increased public opinion for our issues and created a farm team of local elected officials with a record on our issues, so that when they seek higher office, we have an assurance of where they stand.

Political power primarily comes from votes, so we formed an endorsement process and got involved in electoral change. As a non-partisan organization, we endorse LGBT affirming candidates from both parties, but significantly more Democrats seek our endorsement than Republicans. The same is true for Labor and environmental organizations that endorse candidates. And this must be where our partnerships are sustained.

We can't lead our allies and our own supporters down paths of defeat, and it isn't really compromise to choose our battles based on a strategy of creating a record of winning. If we partner with progressive allies on relevant state policy issues that indirectly relate to our community, but are the issue of the moment for the progressive movement, we win political clout and progressive policy change. For example, we recently joined a coalition to fight against the now-enacted “Voter ID” law, as all progressives should have. This ensures broader coalition support for our issues when they come up.

LGBT issues do not exist in a vacuum, and LGBT-specific legislation is not the only way to define success – supporting labor, supporting voting rights, supporting family-sustaining wages, supporting education – these are all progressive fights we have to join to ensure true equality for all.

Adrian Shanker is the president of Equality Pennsylvania, the statewide political organization advocating for equality for the LGBT community.

Friday, February 15, 2013

The Controversy Over Steve Cohen's Tweets (There Is No Controversy)

File this one under GAH SO STUPID, why am I having to write this?

There is literally no scandal to report about Congressman Steve Cohen's tweets during the State of the Union address and the subsequent revelations that Steve has a daughter he found out about three years ago, but hasn't revealed to the public.

Let me 'splain real fast.

When I was a reporter for the gay rights organization Truth Wins Out, we very often would break stories where we either outed politicians, exposing their Larry Craig toe-tapping or their David Vitter diaper-wearing lady-of-the-night dead-hooker scandals. The reason we would tell those stories is not that we inherently had a problem with people finding hot hard dude-sex in the airport (though that is probably not wise!) or that we really needed the world to know about David Vitter's utter fucking grossness. No, the simple reason those sorts of stories were important is because they exposed the hypocrisy of these men who campaigned on "family values" platforms (otherwise known as platforms that hurt LGBT people and their families), all the while getting their jollies in really gross, interesting ways that involved airport dudes and gross diaper fetishes. It was the hypocrisy, not the acts themselves. The acts have absolutely no relevance to our moral discourse. None. Nada.

So, anyone who is trying to turn this into a thing, it is time for you to shut up because it is not a thing, as I just explained to you.

Are we done now? Okay, thanks.

Parks' New Names Should Honor History Worthy Of Celebrating

by Aimee Stiegemeyer

Well, folks, it has now been a week since the Memphis City Council voted to rename three area parks, and it is my distinct pleasure to tell you that aside from all the pearl clutching the armchair historians are doing over this, nothing has changed, except perhaps public opinion of Tennessee and its residents.

Our esteemed Mayor A.C. Wharton has finally seen fit to grace us all with his personal philosophy “that we always need more history," and called for a city ordinance to help guide the process of selecting new names for these parks. Where exactly can we find more history, Mr. Mayor? We seem to have it in droves, and the fact that tens of thousands of Memphis residents can't handle said history is part of the problem.

For some reason there are still people in this town that labor under the delusion that changing the name of a landmark somehow will also erase any and all references to the individual it was named for. Oh, if only it were so simple, as say, whitewashing the truth and creating the revisionist history that we teach our students about the Civil War, and why it was fought.

That anyone in this country, but especially in the South, can spout the ever popular "states' rights" argument, or that the Confederacy somehow seized a victory for us as a country, even in their defeat, is pathetic and shameful. Some of you are also still laboring under the delusion that all history deserves to be celebrated, and that the late General Forrest was an individual worthy of being posthumously honored; that his contributions to the city of Memphis and to our country were so tremendous and amazing that his remains needed to be disinterred from Elmwood Cemetery nearly half a century after his burial, and moved to what is now the former Forrest Park, with a large statue of the general on horseback erected atop his new gravesite. I can’t even type that with a straight face. It is 2013 and I have news for some of our fellow citizens: The South lost the war. It is long past time for some of us to acquaint ourselves with that fact, and then get the fuck over it. The South will not rise again, and nor should it, for declaring war against the United States is an act of treason. If the events of that time were to be repeated today, at the conclusion of the war, General Forrest would have been charged as the traitor that he was, and sentenced to death.

Of course nowadays, he’d probably get struck down by a drone, dispatched without public knowledge or approval, killing him and anyone else in the general vicinity, but that is another matter entirely. [Ed: Cough cough!]

Here's a tip: if you were a prominent leader of an organization that worked to terrorize and assert supremacy over another race, including ordering them killed in cold blood as they attempted to surrender, you don't deserve to have a public park named after you.

The fact that some are still arguing about this is why we apparently can’t have nice things, Memphis. Go anywhere in this country outside of the South, and ask the locals what they think about the fact that the remains of the first leader of the first domestic terrorist group in this country, the Ku Klux Klan, are laid to rest less than two miles from the balcony upon which Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated. Let them know about the manufactured controversy about giving the park a name that does not honor a murderous traitor that fought and killed and sent many of his own troops to death for the right to own human beings as personal property. I guarantee that the response will overwhelmingly be along the lines of, “what the fuck took you guys so long?” That this is allowed to persist is shameful, and an embarrassment to our city. It is safe to say that a lot of people in the Greater Memphis area need to get that through their incredibly thick, yet largely empty heads. I’m looking at you especially, Mayor Wharton. How about a city ordinance that states we will stop glorifying the most abhorrent events of our past, and work towards creating a new legacy, one that current and future generations of Memphians can be proud of?

Aimee Stiegemeyer really likes to express her thoughts via the written word when she is not chasing her munchkins around. Really, really, she appreciates the opportunity to talk to adults.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

ONE BILLION RISING -- Add Your Voice!

If you are like us, you have been getting a lot of notifications on Facebook about something called "One Billion Rising," and if you are even more like us, you forgot to click on them to find out what it is. Well, yesterday, we were procrastinating and ended up watching the Katie Couric afternoon television program, which is apparently a thing, and even Katie was talking about it! Now we know what it is, and it is tomorrow, and we support it wholeheartedly. From their Facebook page:

Memphis has TWO One Billion Rising events:
* Thursday 2/14 at 5:00-6:30 at the corner of Union and Cooper: RALLY, STORIES, VIGIL AND DANCE
* Saturday 2/16 at 9:30 - 10:30 DANCE PARTY with DJ I N T U I G R O O V E following the Vagina Monologues performance at Circuit Playhouse. 
ONE BILLION RISING IS: 
A global strike
An invitation to dance
A call to men and women to refuse to participate in the status quo until rape and rape culture ends
An act of solidarity, demonstrating to women the commonality of their struggles and their power in numbers A refusal to accept violence against women and girls as a given
A new time and a new way of being
Poets, storytellers, dancers, drummers, hoopers, mothers and sisters, daughters, wives, husbands, partners and friends -- we will gather to share our stories, we will vigil to honor ourselves and stand with women around the world, and out of the silence, the music will begin, and we will rise up and dance for each other, with each other. 

That is all awesome. Many readers might not know what "rape culture" is. Here is a pretty handy link that explains what we're dealing with, and it's something that impacts every person's life in some way or another. It encompasses so, so much more than simply the physical act of rape itself. It has to do with the myriad myths surrounding rape, and the constant victim-blaming that even ends up crossing the lips of otherwise well-meaning people. "Well, if she hadn't been out so late, you know!" Uh huh. Keep on making excuses for why, if the victim had only done X, that guy might have had another choice besides raping a human being. That's what this is about, and it. is. every. fucking. where.

So, add your voice and your passion to this issue, tomorrow and beyond. And really, what better way to celebrate Valentine's Day, since Valentine's Day is so, so, stupid?

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Success! Memphis Parks No Longer Racist, Just Boring.

LOL NOT FOR LONG
Earlier today, we reflected on Councilman Myron Lowery's proposal to add the name of Ida B. Wells to Nathan Bedford Forrest Park, because those two would really have enjoyed hanging out with each other in life, probably. (No.) Well, the City Council met and things got real pissy, they did:

Councilman Myron Lowery wants civil rights activist Ida B. Wells' name to be added to Forrest Park. "I'm not trying to rewrite history. I'm not trying to change history. And I don't think anybody in this room needs a history lesson," he said.
Based on the banter in the room, Nathan Bedford Forrest was either a great general and a swell guy after the war, or a slave trading racist. 

Yeah, he was a slave trading racist.

City Councilwoman Janis Fullilove believes Forrest was evil, and said maybe the park's name should be changed to honor a slave who slaughtered white slave owners in the 1800's. "I would like to move to rename that park Nat Turner Park. Because Forrest hated black people, and Turner hated white people," she suggested. 

Janis, I do believe that suggestion went over the heads of half the people in the room.

As [a sane person] spoke, H.K. Edgerton, an African American who goes around the country talking about the good things about the Confederacy, couldn't hold his feelings in. "Lies!" he exclaimed. Neither could Lee Millar of the group Sons of Confederate Veterans. "Forrest was known as a very humane slave trader," he said, "He never split families." 

OH THAT MAKES IT ALL BETTER. Your Effin' Memphis has a really long piece rolling around in his head right now, where we address the issue of race in this city, but we're just going to put this out there right now:

Dear Some White People:

When you talk about how some slaves loved their masters, or how they didn't split up families, or about how "Well, the Africans sold their own people into slavery!" as if that would have happened if there hadn't been incredibly willing white buyers in 'Murika, or about how the Civil War was about "state's rights," or about how you have no problem with your black neighbors they keep their yards so nice, as if it's some sort of refreshing surprise, YOU SOUND EVEN MORE RACIST. Stop it. Now.

Sincerely,

Effin' Memphis

So anyway, now the parks are going to be renamed, as nine City Council members voted to get ahead of a state proposal that would disallow cities from changing the names of parks that honor "war heroes." For the moment, the parks will have the following boring names:


Forrest Park will be Health and Sciences Park, Confederate Park will be Memphis Park, and Jefferson Davis Park will be the Mississippi River Park. 

Fine. Effin' Memphis readers, feel free to come up with witty suggestions for new names for these Memphis parks, names that are NOT SO PHENOMENALLY RACIST.

Airplanes! Changing The Name Of Forrest Park To Something Less Gross! (News Briefs...)

Airpane! Airpane!
Good Tuesday afternoon, Effin' Memphis readers. We are all recovered from our hangovers from Sunday Funday, which featured some sort of sportsball match, yes? Okay, let's move forward then. Here are some things that are catching our eye this week:

Southwest and AirTran bringing better, low-cost flights to Memphis? Say it ain't so, folks. I mean, Memphians really love being the Worldwide Transportation Whatever, and we really love talking about it while we're driving to the dinky airport in Little Rock so that we might go places, right? Well, maybe that will finally change:
AirTran Airways will grow in Memphis in advance of Southwest Airlines' arrival, adding flights to Chicago, Orlando and Baltimore. The expansion, effective Aug. 11, was hailed Monday as a step toward restoring shrinking service at Memphis International Airport and perhaps a harbinger of more low-cost options to come at one of the country's highest-fare venues. [...] Round-trip fares available for booking Monday at airtran.com showed lows of $254 for Chicago, $196 for Orlando and $192 for Baltimore/Washington. There were indications Delta Air Lines was lowering some of its fares.
Hey, that is a good thing, since we all really hate our airport and anything that might make it better is a welcome development...

If we hadn't named a prominent park after the Confederate general who founded the KKK in the first place, we wouldn't be talking about this: Councilman Myron Lowery is proposing that we add Ida B. Wells' name alongside Nathan Bedford Forrest's at Forrest Park. Although that would be an improvement, why don't we just retire the damn Forrest Park name already? No Memphian who is actually a value-added citizen of this city is particularly proud of the fact that we have a large park named after such a nasty historical figure, but hey, IT'S FUCKIN' MEMPHIS, so let's argue about how he had good qualities too! He was nice to puppies and made really good corn on the cob, I hear. Anyway, yeah. Ida B. Wells was awesome. Add her name to it, and then maybe if we prove we can have nice things, we'll get rid of the Forrest moniker.

Apparently, long-settled Supreme Court cases don't apply to Mississippi: You all should read Hannah Sayle's update on Mississippi's efforts to effectively ban abortion in their little state. They may succeed, for the moment, in putting up so many roadblocks that safe, legal abortion is no longer available in the state, but in typical fashion, they will have done nothing to address the rampant poverty, lack of education and lack of access to affordable health care that are all root causes of high abortion rates. This is how you know that they really, really super totally care about The Unborn, and in no way are simply trying to force women to surrender their bodily autonomy to the control of conservative white men. Nah. It's never that.

Sunday, February 3, 2013