The Controversy Over Steve Cohen's Tweets (There Is No Controversy)

File this one under GAH SO STUPID, why am I having to write this?

There is literally no scandal to report about Congressman Steve Cohen's tweets during the State of the Union address and the subsequent revelations that Steve has a daughter he found out about three years ago, but hasn't revealed to the public.

Let me 'splain real fast.

When I was a reporter for the gay rights organization Truth Wins Out, we very often would break stories where we either outed politicians, exposing their Larry Craig toe-tapping or their David Vitter diaper-wearing lady-of-the-night dead-hooker scandals. The reason we would tell those stories is not that we inherently had a problem with people finding hot hard dude-sex in the airport (though that is probably not wise!) or that we really needed the world to know about David Vitter's utter fucking grossness. No, the simple reason those sorts of stories were important is because they exposed the hypocrisy of these men who campaigned on "family values" platforms (otherwise known as platforms that hurt LGBT people and their families), all the while getting their jollies in really gross, interesting ways that involved airport dudes and gross diaper fetishes. It was the hypocrisy, not the acts themselves. The acts have absolutely no relevance to our moral discourse. None. Nada.

So, anyone who is trying to turn this into a thing, it is time for you to shut up because it is not a thing, as I just explained to you.

Are we done now? Okay, thanks.