Stop Being Such Sad-Sack Tweeters, Memphis

Buncha sad-sack whiners, that's what you are.

Memphis made another list! We all know how exciting that is, because Memphis does really well on lists, in areas like "fattest" and "biggest shithole" and stuff like that. It really helps our self-esteem when we are on a list! So this study out of Vermont analyzed ten million tweets, from the Twitter Machine, all across America, and found that Memphis is one of the saddest Twitter-Twatter cities in the country, and also that you all fucking cuss a lot:

They also found that the Bible belt stretching across the American south and into Texas was less happy than the west or New England. The saddest town of the 373 urban areas studied was Beaumont in east Texas. The happiest was Napa, California, home of many drunk people wine makers. The only town among the 15 saddest that was not in the south or Rust Belt was Waterbury, Connecticut.

The writer at The Atlantic takes issue with some of the methodology, but quite frankly, I'm looking at the list of happiest and saddest cities and the company Memphis is keeping is pretty bleak indeed. So maybe clean up your filthy ass mouths and attempt to say something about butterflies or pie once in a while, you guys?