How I won the war on food (and you can, too!)

by Sami Harvey

If your kids are anything like mine, at least once a day you’re forced to choose between giving them something healthy and nutritious­­—filled with vitamins and good stuff, and giving them something they will actually eat. It can be the source of much frustration and even more tears (mostly mine), and I mean honestly, as mothers, do we really need another reason to feel the dreaded ‘mommy guilt?’ Do you really want to add “force-fed my child strawberries and Flintstones vitamins” to your long list of reasons why Little Timmy will need ten years of psychoanalyzing in his forties?  Exactly. However, with Memphis being the top-ranking city in terms of obesity, I feel extra compelled to keep my family from becoming part of those statistics. So I had to formulate a plan…

I got down on my kids’ level and took a lesson from them: I got sneaky. I started plotting and scheming—scouring the Internet night after night, desperate to find ways to stick health where they would least expect it. (Insert maniacal laughter here.)

Here’s what I’ve learned: If one thing is true about our kids, it’s that while they may be crafty little buggers, they (thankfully!) aren’t quite smart enough to use deductive reasoning quite yet. They don’t know to put together the fresh-baked treats on the counter with the trash bag filled with empty black bean packaging. They don’t notice that when we have smoothies with lunch, empty bags of spinach, carrot stems and celery stalks are littering the counter, in uncomfortably close proximity to the just-used blender. They’d never guess that lurking in those warm, fluffy pancakes they love so much is a half-day’s worth of vegetables. I found a loophole. I won. (Continue maniacal laughter.)

What you don't see here are the masses of green, leafy things ground up and lurking beneath those friendly garnishes.
(photo credit: the Internet. Thanks, google!)

And while I am always willing to perform covert operations in the name of good health, I am not always willing or able to cook a full-blown meal and the first mutterings of “I’m huuuungry,” from the peanut gallery.   I needed a little help, so I set about demanding more answers from my wisest friend, the Internet.

This is what the Internet gave me.

It’s called NatureBox and it is totally amazing. See, the thing about me is that I totally love the idea of healthful pre-packaged goodness, but I will never be able to justify dropping more than a dollar on some boring single-serve bag of sweet potato chips made with 100% free-range, grass-fed potatoes. I’m glaring at you, Whole Foods. And apparently, the folks at NatureBox already knew that about me, because they do things a little differently. 

Long story short, once a month they send you a box with an array of “nutritionist-approved” treats that are made from real ingredients, with none of those added garbage-y things like hydrogenated oils and syrups, fake flavors and colors, and all of that other nonsense. They’re super affordable, too, which says a lot considering my ridiculously frugal standards. We went with their Family Snacker option, and it breaks down to cost less than $0.75 per snack serving. That’s cheaper than a damn snickers, y’all. Seriously. And the kids freaking love this stuff. Get some little zip lock bags and divide everything up into portion sizes, set them in the pantry, and the next time Bobby Sue is hungry, you can grab one and toss it at her. Underhanded, of course.

Click this link right here to learn all about how great they are. You can enter the code “SHARE” and get $5 off your order, which is cool. 

And because you were so nice and read all the way through this post, here is a recipe for my favorite black bean brownies. 

What you need: 

• 15-ounce can of black beans, drained and rinsed
• 3 eggs*
• 3 Tbsp coconut oil, melted
• 3/4  cup cocoa powder
• 1/4 tsp sea salt
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 cup of brown sugar
• nuts or chocolate chips or both or neither

*I've heard you can use 2 "flax eggs" in place of the eggs. To do that, you need to put 2.5 Tbsp of flaxseed meal and 6 Tbsp of water in the food processor and mix them together. I just use eggs because I don't raise chickens for nothing.

How to do it:

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees
2. Put everything except the nuts/chocolate chips into your food processor or blender and process for what will seem like a noisy eternity. Scrape the sides and make sure everything is mixed well and blended totally smooth. 
3. Pour into either an 8" circular pan or into a muffin tin (If you pan/tin is old, take measures to prevent the brownies from sticking)
4. Bake for 25 minutes or so. 
5. Let cool just long enough to avoid burning your tongue before getting them out of the pan. They come out easier when they are totally cool, but ain't nobody got time for that. 

Now, get in your kitchen and get to baking. You can thank me later. I'll be waiting.

Sami needs to post recipes more often. Ooh, we should have Effin' Memphis potlucks! Only for the writers, of course. If you want to write about something for Effin' Memphis, just shoot us an e-mail at effinmemphis at gmail dot com! Then you can come to our super secret potlucks and also be in our super secret Facebook writers group.

Ew? You Moved To Memphis? Why?

Hey, here's another new writer, named Chris Benson! We want to hear from natives, and we also want to hear from people who moved from elsewhere and have decided to call Memphis home for the long haul. These are their stories... #LawAndOrderSound

by Chris Benson

I am tired of hearing native Memphians talk about my city in such a negative way. Are there problems in Memphis? Yes, but one of the biggest problems we face is the self-deprecating people who refuse to look past the typical urban issues -- issues that we often have in common with all major cities -- to the wonderful culture and events this city has to offer.

Yes, we have crime. Name me a city that doesn't. Hell, even Mayberry had crime. Why else did they need Andy Griffith?

But before you talk smack, check out the awesome activities and places that are right in front of you. Have you been to our world-class zoo lately? Are you going to the world famous Beale Street Music Fest? and when was the last time you visited the Metal Museum, or took advantage of the free Trolley Tours once a month in South Main? The last time you hit The Brooks museum was on a field trip right?

You have to look a little closer to see the gems but they're there, just as shiny as you let them be. Memphis is more than Beale Street, and it's more than Corky's. Memphis is summed up by the passionate, proud people that call it home. Have you seen a crowd of Memphians after a Grizzlies game?

Before you talk trash about where I live, visit The Center for Southern Folklore and get a plate of greens, or stop by the Levitt Shell for a free concert. BETTER YET, get off your fat ass and ride the Greenway.

Just don't forget to lock your car.

Chris Benson has lived in Memphis since the age of ten and has yet to have been shot. She is mother to three rockin' kids and wife to Memphis filmmaker Jeremy Benson.

Change those diapers! (To cloth ones! ) #Mommyhelp

by Sami Harvey

TL;DR VERSION OF THIS POST: The Great Cloth Diaper Change is happening around the world on April 20. Come have fun and win prizes at the local event, which is at G-town Prez Church at 11am. Save the planet, save some money, be a generally more likable person.

If the mention of cloth diapers brings to mind images of bulky napkins held together with sharp pins and plastic pants, then you are missing out, my friends. Things have come quite a long way from the days of old. Nowadays these things come in cute prints and trim styles, and best of all, they are a not-too-inconvenient way to help save the world while saving some money. The internet is already filled with blogs dedicated to telling you how and why cloth diapers are better than the alternative, how they will save you thousands of dollars in your child’s first two years, and how they’ll prevent Armageddon, so I’ll leave that to you to research on your own time. 

However, what I will tell you is all about is this really fun event called The Great Cloth Diaper Change  that’s coming up on April 20^th. Mark your calendars, mamas! Once your mother-to-child ratio is greater than 1:0, your memory is deemed unreliable! The Great Cloth Diaper Change (GCDC) is a global event that brings together cloth diapering families to break the Guinness World Record for the most diapers changed simultaneously. The goal of the event is to raise awareness about the benefits of cloth diapers in a real, tangible way.  It’s also a great place to go to touch, feel, and get to know the world of cloth diapers. If you're not currently a cloth diaper enthusiast, there will be tons of other parents who you can badger with questions, as well as local vendors who with lots of “fluff” for sale. (And no, parents, fluff is not code for a strange new street drug.)

Cloth diapers won't necessarily make your baby this cute and squishy, but they certainly can't hurt.

The local GCDC is going down at Germantown Presbyterian Church at 11am SHARP on April 20, 2013. Plan to show up way early so you won’t be late. Believe it or not, you are not so special that the whole world will wait just for you. If you’re late, you won’t be counted. That’s that. End rant. The rules say your kid can come in a disposable diaper, but that (s)he must be changed into a commercially available cloth one during the change. Meaning? Bring cash and buy a cute cloth diaper from one of the on-site vendors prior to 11am, so you can be part of the Guinness World Record. After the main event there will be raffles and other fun stuff to do, as well. Here’s a link to the facebook event for the Memphis GCDC so you can get the low-down on the cool stuff that's unique to the local event. (Like raffles!) 

This year there will be over 285 changes in 17 countries, including Australia, Belgium, Canada, Switzerland, Chile, Germany, Spain, Finland, Great Britain, China, Ireland, Iceland, Italy, Mexico, Malaysia, the Netherlands, and the US.  The 2012 GCDC blew 2011’s results out of the water, so come help do the same this year.

Statistics from previous GCDC events

2011
5,026 changes globally
65 changes locally

2012
8,251 changes globally
65 changes locally

Notice how there was no increase locally last year? Do these hardworking event coordinators a solid, and help make this year really shine. Third time's a charm, right? 

Sami Harvey is one of those self-righteous mothers who takes any chance she can get to post pictures of her kids on the internet. She is also a user of cloth diapers and recommends it to any one else who is frugal, earth-conscious, and has small children who refuse to use the toilet like a civilized human. She's also happy to answer any questions you have about cloth diapers, or to at least point you in the direction of someone who knows more than she does.

YOU'RE GOING TO PLAY OUTSIDE, AND YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE IT!

by Adam Hurst

You're either born this way or you aren't.  You can't teach this.

Hello! I'm Adam, and I'm one of your new Effin' Memphis contributors! It will be my job to keep you all informed about all the things to do in Memphis and the Mid-South that involve getting outside and playing.  Your Effin' Memphis Editor, who happens to have known me for three decades and, FULL DISCLOSURE, is also my brother, (*cough*unpaidnepotism!*cough*), has long maintained that I'd be most suited in a career where, for whatever reason, someone gave me actual money to go outside and play. Well, to an extent, I have found that job and this here computer blergin' will be an extension of that. That's not to say that I won't ever delve into a different topic that interests me, but mostly I'm gonna stick to what I know best. You peoples can argue about school mergers and basketballs, but I kinda cherish my role as the overgrown kid of the bunch. I have always been uniquely overqualified to fill this role.

You see, Memphians love to talk about how there Isn't Shit To Do Here.  And yes, it is a fact that Memphis has no mountains, or beaches, or whitewater, or large lakes or an “agreeable climate" of any kind, but to say there isn't anything good to do outside here is just lazy and ignorant. Lazy, lazy, lazy. And so, so ignorant.  AND, considering the fact that last year Memphis was named the fattest city in the nation -- no, congrats on that, everyone, really -- our problem clearly isn't an overabundance of awareness about healthy activities available to us each day. We take for granted that we sit on two amazing rivers, each with its own history and culture surrounding it. And yes! You can paddle on them both! We have a burgeoning community of cyclists, being constantly strengthened by increasing community awareness and support, and by some of the awesome infrastructure and policy improvements our city government is making. We have TONS of youth and adult sports leagues, with a team and a place for every skill level. We have kickball, bike polo, hashers, full & half marathons, soccer, CycleMemphis, countless clubs and conservation groups, and races of every flavor over water, pavement and trails, by boat, by bike and on foot. There is, in fact, Shit To Do Here. So I'm going to do my best to highlight all of that.  Sooner or later there'll be another tab up top that will tell you about area races, events, destinations and organizations that will help get you back outside and having fun like you did when you were a kid.*  So, I'll do my best to keep that tab updated, and you'll start doing your best to get back out and enjoy the world outside the walls you're so accustomed to these days. Deal?

By the way, if I miss something that you feel should be promoted, contact us at effinmemphis at gmail dot com!  Want to know about some specific place or event around these parts? Want to ask an expert about outdoors gear or equipment? Want to hear about ways you can give back to the local conservation scene?  LET US KNOW and we'll do what we can to get y'all squared away now, y'hear?

Also, here is one more picture from the photo shoot above:

See if you can guess which one is me and which one is your Effin' Memphis Editor.

*ASIDE: American children aren't leading the lives we led growing up, by and large. Various studies have now suggested that on average, American kids experience about six to eight hours of “screen time” per day, engaged with either TV, video games, computers or mobile devices. The only thing they spend more time doing is sleeping...if they're even getting that.

Adam Hurst didn't know when the above pictures were taken that one day a few years into the future, your Editor would reach his wits' end listening to the noises made by one of Adam's toy guns, grab it and break it over his knee and make him cry. That was really shitty of him. Your Editor does admit, though, that the above picture was completely staged, that he was on to his parents' adorable "look at the big mound of dirt! FUN!" ploys to convince the children to do manual labor from the very beginning, and that he took a shower as soon as humanly possible after said photo was taken.

Liz Rincon: Why I've Chosen To Stay In Memphis

From time to time, we'll give space to people who live here and, for myriad reasons and with myriad opportunities to do otherwise, have stuck around. From time to time, we'll also be doing "exit interviews" with people who love Memphis but, for whatever reason, are leaving, SO THAT WE MAY BOO AND HISS AT THEM ON THE WAY OUT. No, just kidding. But when people leave, we want to hear from them too. Liz Rincon has lived here long enough to call herself a default native, and has become a familiar face both in politics and the nonprofit world. She's run campaigns all over the country, and she's had ample opportunity to pick and leave. Instead, she just started her own political/nonprofit consulting firm in Cooper-Young. Here, she explains why she's sticking around.

by Liz Rincon

Memphis has always been a weird, artistic and somewhat complicated city. Maybe this is why I fell in love with it so many years ago. It was on a field trip with my 4th grade class in 1990 when I first visited the "Bluff City," a trip which would change my life. At the time I had no idea that only a few short years later, I would officially call Memphis my home.

That short class trip from Northwest Arkansas was designed to teach the students about the American musical legacy born out of Memphis. I remember coming across the Hernando Desoto Bridge and seeing the Memphis skyline and it took my breath away. To this day, I do not believe that anyone else on that trip had the same reaction. As soon as we checked into our hotel rooms, I was the first one unpacked and ready to explore this place. I came home to tell my parents what an amazing trip it had been, and that one day I planned on moving to Memphis. I told them about Beale Street (back then, kids could walk it at night), the Mud Island River Museum and all the interesting people that I ended up talking to on the street. I am sure that my mother was not too thrilled about the talking to strangers part. Regardless, the people that I met then were some of the most fascinating folks I had ever had the privilege to talk to. Memphis had a dark but intriguing quality about it that has stuck with me since my feet hit the bluff. Darkness is not necessarily a bad thing; it can fuel imagination and drive. Where do you think the Blues comes from?

A few years later my mother sat me down at the dining room table to tell me that my dad had been offered a job in Memphis. It had been some time since I came home from that class trip and she was worried that I would not handle the news too well. I looked at her and started to jump up and down. Yes! We were moving to my hometown!

Twenty-one years later, I am lucky that I have been able to make a career for myself here. I have heard for years and years, "get out and make something of yourself" as if moving away is some sort of badge of honor. While it is true that I am a political strategist and have lived all over this great nation working on campaigns, I have managed to keep my home here the entire time. I've worked in amazing cities that have a lot to offer. Chicago with its progressive communities, artistic flair, amazing food and, of course, the Cubs. Pittsburgh with its grit, its weird Steeler Sunday traditions and rich labor history. I've been lucky to work in these and other cities, but strangely enough, working in those cities also solidified my love of Memphis. Whenever I would come home after a campaign, I would throw myself into Memphis culture. BBQ, music, going to Overton Park or just having a good glass of wine on a patio with friends. This is a city that gets in you and does not let go. I consider it a badge of honor that I am here, that I did not leave.

I have worked twenty-two campaigns, been the executive director of a national nonprofit, worked on Capitol Hill and lobbied on many different organizations' behalf. I am honored to take all that experience and start my own political strategy firm based right here in Memphis. We are a Memphis-centric firm that works with organizations to improve the quality of our city, to encourage people to make their home here and to then invest back into the community. Our candidates for office want to see Memphis improve and move forward, our clients are invested in the city and my team is committed to staying here to make Memphis work. I look forward to contributing to Effin' Memphis, because Memphis is weird and so am I.

And dammit, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Liz Rincon is also a Midtown mom, and her three year-old daughter has started to pick up Liz's catchphrase, which is "Make it happen!" Like the Facebook page for Liz's new firm, Elizabeth Rincon and Associates, right here.

DAN SAVAGE And Effin' Memphis, Together At Last! (Exclusive Interviews!)

Hey everybody, Evan here. In case you didn't know, world-renowned sex-advice-giver and creator of the It Gets Better project for LGBT youth, will be speaking tonight at the University of Memphis. Rose Theatre. 7 PM.

Dan and I had lunch today at the wonderful Rizzo's Diner, and afterward we had a little talk about the It Gets Better project, what it's like to be a gay kid in 2013, what it takes to take a city like Memphis to the next level and also, some weird part about 50 Shades of Grey at the end.

Watch, share and allathat, and then show up in a couple hours at the University of Memphis!

45 Years On...

And we're still learning the lessons.

Sometimes you see a piece of journalism so masterful and beautiful that you simply want to let it stand on its own. Marc Perrusquia's gorgeous photo essay in today's Commercial Appeal, “Leading Up To six:01 - Martin Luther King, Jr.: The Last 32 Hours” is just that. Please take a few minutes to read the story, whether you know it like the back of your hand or there are details missing in your conception of what happened on April 4, 1968. Sometimes I feel like this city's history is always in the air -- other times I feel like many of us do our best to ignore it, or worse, are apathetic to it.

In my day job, I'm the Associate Director of a national gay rights organization called Truth Wins Out, and I wrote about this day there a little bit earlier, ending my piece with these words:

We all have a responsibility to each other to listen, to understand, to tell others the stories, to ensure that we have each others’ backs when it comes to eradicating all injustice. 

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. would demand nothing less.

I think the entire city of Memphis would benefit from doing just that. Learn the stories, remember the stories, tell the stories, and move forward together.