YOU'RE GOING TO PLAY OUTSIDE, AND YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE IT!

by Adam Hurst

You're either born this way or you aren't.  You can't teach this.

Hello! I'm Adam, and I'm one of your new Effin' Memphis contributors! It will be my job to keep you all informed about all the things to do in Memphis and the Mid-South that involve getting outside and playing.  Your Effin' Memphis Editor, who happens to have known me for three decades and, FULL DISCLOSURE, is also my brother, (*cough*unpaidnepotism!*cough*), has long maintained that I'd be most suited in a career where, for whatever reason, someone gave me actual money to go outside and play. Well, to an extent, I have found that job and this here computer blergin' will be an extension of that. That's not to say that I won't ever delve into a different topic that interests me, but mostly I'm gonna stick to what I know best. You peoples can argue about school mergers and basketballs, but I kinda cherish my role as the overgrown kid of the bunch. I have always been uniquely overqualified to fill this role.

You see, Memphians love to talk about how there Isn't Shit To Do Here.  And yes, it is a fact that Memphis has no mountains, or beaches, or whitewater, or large lakes or an “agreeable climate" of any kind, but to say there isn't anything good to do outside here is just lazy and ignorant. Lazy, lazy, lazy. And so, so ignorant.  AND, considering the fact that last year Memphis was named the fattest city in the nation -- no, congrats on that, everyone, really -- our problem clearly isn't an overabundance of awareness about healthy activities available to us each day. We take for granted that we sit on two amazing rivers, each with its own history and culture surrounding it. And yes! You can paddle on them both! We have a burgeoning community of cyclists, being constantly strengthened by increasing community awareness and support, and by some of the awesome infrastructure and policy improvements our city government is making. We have TONS of youth and adult sports leagues, with a team and a place for every skill level. We have kickball, bike polo, hashers, full & half marathons, soccer, CycleMemphis, countless clubs and conservation groups, and races of every flavor over water, pavement and trails, by boat, by bike and on foot. There is, in fact, Shit To Do Here. So I'm going to do my best to highlight all of that.  Sooner or later there'll be another tab up top that will tell you about area races, events, destinations and organizations that will help get you back outside and having fun like you did when you were a kid.*  So, I'll do my best to keep that tab updated, and you'll start doing your best to get back out and enjoy the world outside the walls you're so accustomed to these days. Deal?

By the way, if I miss something that you feel should be promoted, contact us at effinmemphis at gmail dot com!  Want to know about some specific place or event around these parts? Want to ask an expert about outdoors gear or equipment? Want to hear about ways you can give back to the local conservation scene?  LET US KNOW and we'll do what we can to get y'all squared away now, y'hear?

Also, here is one more picture from the photo shoot above:

See if you can guess which one is me and which one is your Effin' Memphis Editor.

*ASIDE: American children aren't leading the lives we led growing up, by and large. Various studies have now suggested that on average, American kids experience about six to eight hours of “screen time” per day, engaged with either TV, video games, computers or mobile devices. The only thing they spend more time doing is sleeping...if they're even getting that.

Adam Hurst didn't know when the above pictures were taken that one day a few years into the future, your Editor would reach his wits' end listening to the noises made by one of Adam's toy guns, grab it and break it over his knee and make him cry. That was really shitty of him. Your Editor does admit, though, that the above picture was completely staged, that he was on to his parents' adorable "look at the big mound of dirt! FUN!" ploys to convince the children to do manual labor from the very beginning, and that he took a shower as soon as humanly possible after said photo was taken.