Wednesday, May 8, 2013

About That Grizzlies Game Last Friday Night...

"Screw Calm and Grind On" shirt by Sache, available at their
store in South Main or RIGHT HERE.

As we post this, a couple more games have happened in Oklahoma City -- one sad loss and one amazing triumph. Aimee will be posting on those games as they happen, but she got to go to last Friday night's amazing final game against the LA Clippers, where we guaranteed that poor TJ Simers won't have to write about the Clippers for a long while. It was her first time actually being in the Grindhouse. Here's what she has to say about that game:
by Aimee Stiegemeyer
Our Memphis Grizzlies came back home ready to grind Friday night against the Los Angeles Clippers in Game 6 of the first round of the NBA playoffs, and I was lucky enough to be there in the Grindhouse to witness it go down. The energy in the air was indescribable, and judging from the sight and sound of the sellout crowd cheering and waving the bright gold growl towels, the excitement was contagious.

I’ve watched many a Grizzlies game when they are broadcast locally, and listened to the radio cast of quite a few of the ones that were not, but this was the first time that I have had the pleasure of attending a game at the FedEx Forum. I cannot say enough positive things about the arena itself and its staff. The last basketball game I attended was back when the Tigers played their home games at The Pyramid, or the “Tomb of Doom” as it came to be called, long before the Grizzlies came to town.
It was an amazing experience and my only regret is that I waited so long, I will definitely be back.

This was a very physical game from the start, as you could tell by how many fouls happened in the first quarter alone. That seemed to set the tone for the rest of the night, with the aggression from both teams increasing in the second half, culminating with the eventual ejections of LA’s Chris Paul, and our very own Zach Randolph in the final minutes of the game. It was all over but the shouting at that point, literally, as it seemed the whole building shook from the sound of nearly 18,000 people joined in a fevered chant of “Z-BO!” as Randolph made his way back to the locker room.
Moments later the Grizzlies closed out the game and the series with a final score 118- Memphis, 105- Los Angeles. This is a bittersweet victory for us, having been in this exact same spot last year, and losing to LA in round 1 of the playoffs.
This best of possible 7 series started with 2 consecutive losses for the Grizzlies at the Clippers home stadium in Los Angeles, the second due to a lucky shot by Chris Paul just before the clock ran out. The team found its mojo back on familiar ground at the Grindhouse, and went on to win two consecutive home games and one more in LA before this sixth and final game Friday night.
This was a real ball till you fall game, and the clearly outmatched Clippers got desperate and downright dirty all throughout, but to no avail.
Like our towels said, “We Don’t Bluff.”
Highlights include:
  • Mike Conley, like a fucking boss. Not only was he a beast with a total of 23 points overall, he took some really hard hits and got back up and back to the grind.  
  • Tony Allen, the Grindfather himself, quick, fast, and on the grind, scored a total of 19 points and all sorts of assists.
  • Jerry Bayless with that amazing long shot right at the buzzer at the end of the 3rd quarter
  • Blake Griffin and Zach Randolph, tussling, just like old times. We’re waiting for the tape to decide.
  • The sounds of nearly everyone in the building chanting “Whoop That Trick!”
  • Nastiest play of the night goes to Chris Paul and his “accidental” gut check on Marc Gasol, this coming just a split second after Gasol being boxed in by Matt Barnes.

Now we have advanced to the semi finals against the Oklahoma Thunder in another best of 7, started this past Sunday in OKC, with a narrow loss by the Grizz. You can read more about that here.
Game 2 was last night (Tuesday, May 7), and as you should know by now, we more than pulled it out in the end. Next up is this Saturday, back in the Grindhouse, at 4:00 PM, and we'll be looking for the Grizz to own Oklahoma City on our turf just like we did with the Clippers.
Above all else, remember to stay calm and grind on, and more importantly, Believe Memphis.




Monday, May 6, 2013

Westboro Baptist Attention Whores Protesting Graceland

My name is Shirley and I need lots of attention! Also, I use
lots of emoticons in my e-mails, like a preteen! I have a
serious job!

I know it is tempting to go counter-protest on May 17 when Westboro Baptist Church shows up to Graceland, but believe me. They are not worth your effort. This is what they do. They show up, they hold ridiculous signs, they yell, and this is how they support themselves. Westboro Baptist Church has literally no influence on national affairs. It's better to just let them show up and scream at no one in particular. To actually take this seriously is to play into their pathetic little game.

Here is Westboro's word salad explanation of why they are protesting Graceland:

God hates your Idols, so Westboro Baptist Church will picket one of the many major idols of Doomed USA, to wit: Graceland. Former home of Elvis Presley. ALL the evidence suggests that his present home is HELL. 
Ask the Question: How did Elvis die? The Internet gives this: Elvis died on August 16, 1977 in the bathroom at Graceland. After being found on the bathroom floor, Elvis was rushed to the hospital where he was officially pronounced dead. 
The coroner recorded the cause of death as cardiac arrhythmia. While true in the strictest sense (cardiac arrhythmia means that the heart was beating irregularly), the attending physicians deliberately omitted the fact that what had apparently caused Elvis' heart to beat irregularly and then stop was an overdose of prescription drugs. These drugs included codeine, Valium, morphine, and Demerol, to name a few. 
Some people believe that Elvis Presley is still alive. It is an interesting idea to explore. (WHAT?! You people need something to do with your time!!) 
Assuming you do believe that Elvis died, you can visit his grave at Graceland. (YES, gotta worship the rotting carcass of that lecherous, adulterous, pervert and drug addict!) I did NOT ask the Question: What happened in the Jungle Room! My stomach is only so strong.

Fuck them.

Titus Andronicus (TONIGHT AT THE HI-TONE GRAND RE-OPENING!)



Titus Andronicus defies an easy explanation. Wikipedia calls them a "punk/indie rock" band, whatever the fuck that means. Yes, there are punk elements. But way across the divide, what I think when I hear their music is "majestic." But yet punk. But yet majestic. Well, these two things can happen at the same time, and they've happened at the same time before, but Titus Andronicus takes it to a new level.

All good songs have a structure. Indeed, as a songwriter, a singer and a concert pianist, this is something I will preach to anyone who will listen. There are songs that follow familiar paths -- verse, verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, chorus, etc. -- and I've written songs like that. I've also written songs that follow structures that are foreign to the average pop music listener. Titus Andronicus writes a lot of songs like that. Indeed, to my ears, many of their songs seem to be written in sonata form. There are movements. They relate to each other, but they're not always going to give you that big reprise chorus that modern pop music says they should give you. They start in one place, move to a different place, and land you somewhere you never expected to be:



Back to that "punk/indie" thing. Whatever. I don't like either of those descriptors, because I don't think that either really encompasses the music that exists underneath those words. Lately the music I've been most drawn to has fallen into the category of "gritty and yet majestic." That describes Titus Andronicus for me. Lead singer Patrick Stickles' voice isn't perfect -- and who cares? It's honest. Chaos takes turns with beauty, and sometimes they meet in the middle.

All in all, there is an experience in each song, and if it means you drop your preconceived notions of "punk" or "indie rock" or "garage rock," or whatever other genre they seem to be reminding you of at the moment, then that's a good thing.

Of course, once in a while, they'll just play a straight rock song. Here's their cover of Nirvana's "Breed":




Titus Andronicus will be at the re-opening of the Hi-Tone tonight. You should show up. It's only ten fucking dollars, god.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

MEMPHIS ANIMAL LOVERS: The K9 Animal Rescue Was Destroyed By A Tornado And They Need Your Help


Hey, Effin' Memphis readers. Here's an important story about a Memphis area man, the animals he rescues and the struggles they're facing after his rescue was hit by a tornado last week. ANIMAL LOVERS, PAY ATTENTION. Read it, share it and do what you can to help! - Ed.

by Cassie Fox

Last Saturday night, I sat in my living room in south Tipton County, following the weather closely as thunder boomed outside my window and lightning lit up the sky. I am the weather fanatic in our family, and during any storm, I can be counted on to have Channel 5’s Dave Brown on the TV, Channel 3’s radar on my laptop, the weather radio plugged in and stocked with fresh batteries, and Twitter and Facebook opened up side by side so that I can toggle between all the weather personalities I follow. This particular system was pretty weak by the time it crossed the river, and the worst of it for us only lasted about twenty minutes. I had gone back upstairs at the last fading sound of thunder, and was settling in for the night when I noticed we were inexplicably under a tornado warning; thirty seconds of panic later, I realized it was only for the southernmost east corner of the county, as well as neighboring Fayette, so I left Dave on and fiddled around online for a few minutes. Maybe half an hour later, I posted this status update to my Facebook wall:

“When Dave Brown says, "Uhhh, this is not good", you feel a little pukey on the inside. Hope Fayette County isn't as bad as they're making it sound. ”

Unfortunately, it was that bad, but mainly for one man, and his animals. This is their story.

-----

Bill Funk is the kind of Marine they make movies about. He served his country during a decade when doing so wasn’t popular – from 1960 to 1966, through the Cuban missile crisis and the assassination of a president, from the worst of a war that devastated and divided a nation to the end of an era defined by long-haired hippies and the sounds of Hendrix and The Who – and was stationed at Guantanamo Bay before it was a political buzzword. He’s been married, fathered children, watched his grandchildren grow, and loved his Lord through it all. Semper Fi means “always faithful”, and Bill has remained constantly faithful to his idea of what a man should be – strong in heart and mind, kind and compassionate to those in need, loyal to those who love him. He doesn’t take any crap, but he won’t give you any, either, unless you are entirely deserving of it.

About twenty years ago, Bill founded what would eventually become the K9 Savior Animal Sanctuary, a non-profit, non-specific breed dog rescue that started off small and has grown into a sanctuary for any animal needing a loving, caring home, whether for a short time or forever. His ranch in Fayette County currently houses over one hundred dogs, as well as several cats, horses, and even rabbits. Every morning at 4 a.m., seventy-one year old Bill wakes up and starts his day, one that is largely comprised of taking care of all the K9 animals. Dogs are walked, horses fed, kennels checked, and so it goes. It’s a huge undertaking, but one Bill accepts readily and without complaint. Some time ago, it was made known that Bill no longer wanted to take on any further animals; however, people continued to drop sick, wounded, and unwanted dogs in his area, and, faithful as always, Bill could not turn them away.

The tornado warning I heard that night turned out to be the real thing. At about 9:30 p.m., an F-1 tornado dropped down in one strangely small spot, a spot that turned out to be Bill’s barn and kennel area. Trees snapped like tiny twigs, and the barn was completely destroyed, as well as all the outdoor kennels; one dog died when trees fell directly on top of the kennel he was inside, and one cat was lost, but fortunately, all other animals survived. Bill was distraught – these are animals he has nursed back from the brink of death, comforted when they were lonely, and saved from sad lives that knew no love. They are family to him. Fortunately, Bill is part of a network of dedicated animal rescuers, and when they heard the news, they jumped into action. Within hours, word was spreading at an incredible rate, mostly using Facebook as a way to get news and updates out. The next morning, hundreds of people showed up at the ranch; they brought chainsaws, and shovels, and food, and most of all, they brought a selfless determination to fix things, both for Mr. Bill, and for Mr. Bill’s animals. Those who couldn’t come in person shared flyers and posts, donated money, and passed information on to their friends and family. By Tuesday, nearly $3,000 had been raised, thanks to generous Mid-Southerners.

There’s still work to be done. Most of the animals need foster homes while the ranch is rebuilt, but permanent, loving homes would be even better. Kennels must be purchased and rebuilt, the dogs need volunteers to walk, feed, and water them, and supplies must be replenished, especially large volumes of dog food and stainless steel bowls that were lost in the storm. So much has already been accomplished, but this will be an ongoing project for quite some time, and volunteers will be continuously needed. A sense of community and a desire to do good in the face of disaster is not unusual, but Bill Funk does it every day. Every day. From before the sun comes up until it sinks behind the horizon, he works tirelessly for those who can’t help themselves. If you can find a little time or money to help him out, please visit the K9 site for information on what you can do to ease the burden of someone used to shouldering it all, partly in the name of duty, and partly in the name of just being a good human being.

Cassie Fox is a writer, a mom, a wife, a photographer, and an avid fan of British television, though not necessarily in that order. In her spare time, she reads books in the bathtub and quotes Anchorman as often as possible in her everyday conversations (though not necessarily in that order.)

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

A Message From Memphis's Musicians: "We Want YOU!"

The Incredible Hook performs at an Accendo Media
 event, photo shot by Dustin Taylor of Sideways Media 
There are many things Memphians keep in their arsenal of things to do. There are always the safe bets like The Memphis Zoo, The Brooks Museum, or The Levitt Shell, and bars that cater to any number of specialty drinkers (Absinthe Room, what?!?), and then everyone’s default when all else fails -- let's go to a show! It makes sense for that to be our default, because look at our scene here: from reggae to metal with niche genres all along the way! However, at some point we have got to notice that the bands that we enjoy listening to end up relocating, quitting, transforming into cover bands or even worse: they stay the same. SO below is a list of what YOU can do to improve our local music community!

1. LOOK AROUND - It's easy to listen to the same couple of bands all the time because you always go to the same bar, club or venue, and you're right. Our musicians DO run in circles that they are sometimes hesitant to step away from. This gives the feeling that our community is lacking in talent and creativity. Try going to new places, as there are tons of venues around town that not only have varied music, but keep it coming through. Otherlands, Minglewood and Memphis Rehearsal Complex are three prime examples of locations that put a significant amount of effort into recruiting talent, and not just friends as we have seen other venues do.

2. BUY DRINKS!!!! - This is one of those things that may seem like it shouldn't have any impact on the bands. However, most venues make most of their money off the bar. So, the more drinks that are purchased during a bands performance the more likely they are to not only get paid more, but will be able to get better and better venues. In addition to this, it will allow your favorite clubs, bars, and venues to maintain the environment that you want to visit. This sounds simple, but there is a reason that so many places have drink minimums.

4. DON'T BE AFRAID TO PAY FOR QUALITY MUSIC – This is a big one; we as a city seem to all scream WTF?! when we see a ticket price over five bucks. I’ll just say this as plain and simple as I can: imagine you get a job that requires you to dedicate most of your life to learn how to operate at a functional level – not including all the additional time you spend to become the best at what you do – and you and your cohorts, let’s say you have a team of five and you have to split $150 between you. Then, your employer tries to pay you more so you can survive and all the customers immediately scream at the sky in disgust and frustration and go home…or down the street to listen to other bands willing to play for “exposure”. Tip your musicians, buy their merchandise. If we want the talent to stay in Memphis, we have to support the talent while they are in Memphis. In short, it is okay to buy a steak instead of a hot dog.

4. PROMOTIONS – Holy crap is this a big one. Even in the best of times, when bands and venues promote a show until you wish that someone would open the chest from Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark and take your eyes and melt your face off…they still have a limited reach and can’t reach everyone. Local acts don’t have that kind of reach, so if you see them share a link…share it on your social media outlets. It doesn't take long and it means a lot to everyone involved. Take your friends out with you, slap their stickers on stuff, just generally support them. Things like that, which will take you less than thirty seconds, can be the difference between a band making good money one night, or living on a Ramen diet for another week.

5. HAVE FUN! -- Don't be afraid to get out there, dance, and just generally make a fool out of yourself! That’s what this time is for… don't hide in the corner guarding your over-priced drinks like they are the queens jewels. Get up and shake your ass, throw your arms around. Smile, throw your bras on stage [Or, if it is your Effin' Memphis editor playing -- MORE ON THAT SOON -- your jockstraps. Or whatever. -- Ed.]  Let. It. All. Go. Entertainment shouldn't always just make you think deep thoughts, change your perspective or make you cry…sometimes just making you forget about certain parts of your life for a few minutes is the point.

To sum up: Have fun! If you like somebody, help promote them! If you go see them, don't be scared of paying so that the act you like can survive on a living wage! Buy a drink! And jump out of your comfort zone once in a while. You won't regret it.

Will Scheff is the director of Accendo Media, a local nonprofit which seeks to support Memphis artists both at home and abroad. Check them out here!

Monday, April 29, 2013

Remembering the legacy of Maxine Smith


by Liz Rincon

Memphis has a long, rich history of civil rights and activism. We saw the worst of humanity show up on our river banks when an assassin's bullet struck down Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. on April 4th, 1968. Many people believed that his dream died on the balcony of the Lorraine motel. Would the Civil Rights Movement be able to carry on?

Of course it could, and did.

There are many people who worked to ensure that the dream of those who came before them would continue, even when the movement itself started to lose media traction and we found ourselves moving into a new century. While it may have been true that the "colored only" bathrooms, segregated lunch counters and whites-only bus rides had been outlawed, racial injustice still could be (and still can be) seen in other arenas. From the boardrooms of major corporations where you will most likely see only white male faces, to colleges and universities that have unjust hiring practices, and many other points between and beyond, the struggle continues.

One woman who fought in this movement was our beloved Maxine Smith. Maxine was a pioneer in the Civil Rights Movement. When she was turned away from enrollment at then Memphis State University, she was accepted into Spelman College in Atlanta, a historically black college. Her denial to the University of her hometown led to her involvement and then her organizing on behalf of those who were being denied equal opportunities.

She was tough. Very tough. She organized the "If You're Black, Take It Back" campaign to boycott Memphis businesses that refused to integrate, both in regards to their workforces and their clienteles. That the title of the campaign itself was so strong spoke to Maxine's ability to not take any you-know-what from folks. She would be perceived by many as hard to deal with, but what that really came down to was that she was unwilling to compromise in her life's goal that everyone be given a fair chance. And there is, of course, that old saying: "Well behaved women rarely make history."

She would later go on to work with the NAACP, sitting on the National Board as well as serving as Executive Secretary for the Memphis Chapter. The work that she did was hard, and it was intolerant of those who did not want to see change. When you are a "change agent," you have to deal with the brunt of that work. I think this is what I admire most in her.

As a Memphian, a woman and a person who has worked in politics for a very long time, I have nothing but the utmost admiration for a woman who was right there at the center of the struggle, went on to run a campaign to elect the first African-American Mayor of Memphis, protected the young children who were there in the first moments of integration and held so many people captive with her words.

We are Memphis and if we really want to honor a woman who did so much for us, we need to pick up that torch and carry on in her name and the names of those who came before her. So here is my suggestion: the next time you hear someone say something negative about our city, tell them the story of Maxine Smith and what she did to improve where she lived and thus where we all live. Keep her spirit alive by keeping our city alive. We owe it to her.

Godspeed, Maxine.

Friday, April 26, 2013

If you're in the mood for burlesque, tonight's your night!

So, maybe some of you aren't going Downtown for the LUVGLO and you want something a little different. Well, tonight, there is another Sock It To Me Burlesque show at Newby's. Doors at 9!


If you've never seen burlesque, you're in for a treat. If you know burlesque, but you haven't seen the MEMPHIS burlesque scene, well, then, bigger treat.

Chloe du Bois sets the scene:

We are performing Friday, April 26th, at Newby's, and this time it's a 50's themed show, 'The Sock It To Me Sock Hop'. We are also going to have a 50's themed costume contest with awesome prizes for the winners, like a carriage ride for two downtown, and gift certificates from vendors such as Nip Knacks and Dare Threads Vintage & Art.

Fun! Get tickets here. And here is Chloe du Bois herself from one of their recent performances, doing one of my favorite Gershwin songs:

I Have Chosen To Stay And Grind (Believe, Memphis!)

Today, Memphis has its collective back up over the obnoxious words of LA Times sports columnist, T.J. Simers, who apparently felt that instead of writing a sports column about the NBA play-offs, he would instead badmouth Memphis for eight hundred words and call it a column. Inexplicably, his editor was okay with this. So we figure now's a good time to hear from Memphian Shawn Lynch, on why the Grizzlies, and Memphis, are awesome. Enjoy! -Ed.

by Shawn Lynch

It’s that time of year again. That time where our fair city grabs our yellow towels and heads to the Grindhouse to scream until we can’t scream no more. The time of year where a 9:30 tip time on a Monday night severely damages the entire regions productivity on Tuesday. It’s the NBA playoffs. It’s time to believe, Memphis.

When the Grizzlies moved to Memphis in 2001, this is what people envisioned. Those of us who had NBA Now yard signs thought it was a worthy enterprise to bring a major league sports franchise to Memphis. It would be something that could bring the community together. It would be something that could make people think that just maybe Memphis could be a better place.

As you may remember, many folks did not think it was a worthy enterprise. The idea of building a $250 million arena in downtown Memphis was the worst idea since… building a baseball stadium in the middle of downtown Memphis. We could not support a team, they said. They will just leave for another city, they would add. We can’t afford it anyway. They were full of excuses.

This city has a long history of being divided. Whether it’s about race, class or wet vs. dry ribs; we just can’t seem to get on the same page. (The correct answer is dry, by the way.) Currently, the biggest division we have is those who believe and those who do not. Not those who are Grizzlies fans and those who aren’t, but those who believe in Memphis and those who don’t. You read their comments in the Commercial Appeal comments section. You hear them complain when you go to eat. They refuse to believe that we can do better.

So, when you walk out onto a packed Beale Street after another Grizzly win this week, take a look around. Revel in the experience with your fellow believers. Take pride in the fact that we, the believers, were right. Memphis can be a better place if we make it a better place. The power is in our hands. All you have to do is believe.

Shawn Lynch is a lifetime Memphian and believer. He believes “Stop and Think it Over” is the greatest song written in the past quarter century.

Dear L.A. Times Columnist T.J. Simers: Get Bent. (An EFFIN' MEMPHIS Recommendation)

Kittens are cute! T.J. Simers is a dick.
Effin' Memphis is a nice place. Effin' Memphis is a happy place. Effin' Memphis is a funny place, for people who love this city despite its shortcomings, and who want to be part of the solution. But Effin' Memphis has a dark side. Effin' Memphis fucking haaaaaaaaates people who shit on this city for no good reason.

Some of you may have seen this shitty little piece of faux-journalism by L.A. Times sports columnist T.J. Simers, formerly of our own Commercial Appeal. Apparently he's in Memphis right now, not that anyone should care, and he has published a little screed which goes like this, basically:

WHINE! I'm in Memphis right now covering the play-offs and I'm such a little pissant troll that I feel the need to write a column in my hometown paper in Los Angeles, a city which the rest of California makes every effort to bypass like a fart in a crowded nightclub, about how much Memphis sucks. WHINE!

Seriously, that's about it. You can read the whole thing if you want, but here is the gist:
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — I've put my life on the line to be here in this rathole with our Clippers. And so I expect more than what I got from them Thursday in a rather flat 12-point loss to Memphis in Game 3. The Clippers played a step slow, as if hesitant to go on the attack, even though that's just a way of life here if you want to survive. True story, and I shouldn't be trashed for reporting the facts: They just put up billboards at the Memphis city limits that read: "Danger: Enter at Your Own Risk. This city does not support public safety." They were paid for by the Memphis Police Assn. I hope you're not planning your next vacation here without a body guard.
Oh, shut the fuck up. We're not commenting on the (really, really horrible, embarrassing PR) campaign by the Memphis Police Association. That's our own issue to deal with, and Memphians will deal with it, as opposed to grousing schmucks who are just so butthurt that their "journalism" jobs are putting them up in nice hotels and letting them go to NBA playoff games for free.

Memphis has its problems. It also has spirit, and history, and, unlike Los Angeles, is not just one big putrid suburb. I could say more, but Effin' Memphis, besides having a dark side, is also classy enough that we wouldn't go to somebody else's city and write back home about what a shithole it is.

So like we said: our official Effin' Memphis recommendation is that T.J. Simers should get bent, and now we will go back to promoting awesome things that awesome people who love this city are doing.

Simers' e-mail address is at the bottom of the link, though. Don't tell anybody we told you.

LUVGLO! LUVGLO! LUVGLO!


Those shades look familiar...
WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING TONIGHT? There is so, so much going on this weekend. Here is what Effin' Memphis is doing. We are going to Trolley Tour to have a lot of free wine and socialize and say "hey gurl...hey gurl..." as we pass people we know, and then we are sticking around and probably maybe putting some glow paint on our face to support the runners in LUVGLO. Here is Effin' Memphis Playing Outside Reporter and Official Effin' Memphis Little Brother Adam Hurst to 'splain why that is where your ass should be tonight, also. -- Ed.

So when I was first asked to write for EM, I knew what topics I'd cover and that my first feature had to be on LUVGLO. Anyone who knows me could tell you I'm a shameless cheerleader for the LUVMUD/LUVGLO races, but literally none of them would tell you I'm a journalist. I'm so much not a journalist that sometimes I can't even words good. So yeah, I didn't write about it sooner because I'm not good at this. But this right here is a last-minute Hail Mary, which I'm told sometimes win foosball games.

Now, I could sit here and regurgitate to you all of the things about LUVGLO that have already been covered by actual journalists who don't suck at this, or about Habitat for Hope and all the incredible work they do for families of children facing the hardest fight of their lives, but instead I thought I'd tell you about my personal impressions of the race, and dispel any objections you may have on the ground of "I can't because I'm not in good enough shape."


It's soooo hard to have fun at these things.
Nonsense, I say!  It's not really that much of a race. You don't even necessarily have to feets good. Now, don't get confused about what I mean by that -- it's still very much a 5K obstacle race -- but it's not that competitive. I've heard people say that they'd like to do an event like this, but didn't think they could run that far or were turned off by the typical I TAKE THIS ALL WAY TOO SERIOUSLY Saturday morning race crowd. But this is no place for seriousness.  This ain't your average race, and these ain't your usual runners. You don't have to be an Olympian to compete. Hell, you don't even have to run the course.  I've seen many, MANY people (and dogs) happily sauntering through the course with their friends at their own leisurely paces, many of them wearing crazy-ass outfits complete with CamelBaks that probably weren't filled with water. Think of it all more as a festival, which, after all, it is.  I mean, if you're looking to obsessively pore over race times and view the other competitors as your sworn enemies, you might want to woo-sah yourself a bit, because this here's a party. And of course, there are great obstacles throughout the run that reminded me of those great field days in elementary school where you had to come to school, but you didn't have to learn and you could just plaaaaaaaaaayyyyy. But hey, if you're getting curious but still a little weary of doing the physical part, just show up and take part in the HUGE festival with all the food, music, vendors and, most importantly, BEER. My numbers are probably a bit off, but I think that the last LUVMUD/LUVGLO joint event got a few thousand runners and something like 8,000 festival-goers. This isn't an event solely for hardcore runners -- this is stuff you like and these are people you'd hang out with. I mean, hell, we're RUNNING THROUGH A TRICKED-OUT BREWERY WITH DJ'S AND GLOW PAINT. What's not to love about that?

So if you were planning on having dinner and drinks tonight like you do every Friday night, just plan on making it to South Main tonight. This event's going to be bigger and better than ever and easily cooler than any race your narrow little mind has heard of. The party kicks off at 8 PM at the old Tennessee Brewery, with racers leaving in heats starting at 9:30. Registration will be open all day at 495 Tennessee Street, right up until the first wave leaves the starting line. If you still don't believe me, check out the LUVMUD Facebook page to check out pictures and videos of this year's course. Come get in on this!



Friday, April 19, 2013

Memphians Run Tonight To Show Love And Support For Boston

If you're like us, you've been glued to the news this week, what with the terrorist attack on Boston, the plant explosion in Texas, the firefight/manhunt at MIT last night, the fact that one or more suspects are still on the run and Boston is currently on lockdown...as The Onion said, "Jesus, This Week."

Here is a way you can give back, though, and it's especially geared toward those of you who are runners. Tonight, show up at Overton Park at 6:15 for the Run To Honor Boston. From their Facebook page:

RUN TO HONOR BOSTON
FRIDAY NIGHT APRIL 19, 6:15 PM
OVERTON PARK
RAINBOW LAKE PAVILION
We will be running approximately 2.62 miles through Overton Park to honor those affected by the tragedy at Boston. The walk/run will begin and end at the Rainbow Lake Pavilion. A celebration of Boston Running Party to be held at Slider Inn to follow with music by the Michael Brothers Band (yes they all run!!!) and The Thrown Together Band! We will be presenting the 2013 “Cody -Sax” Awards to the top male and female Memphis area finishers in at Boston this year at the party.
Special LOVE BOSTON RUN shirts will be available for Donation. All profit goes to The One Fund. All donations will go to the ONE FUND.

Awesome!

Yes, it is cold outside, but you are runners and you do not care. Go run tonight, or just go and support them!

And if you're already planning to go to the Broad Avenue Spring Art Walk like we are (Effin' Memphis editor does not run), go ahead and click on the One Fund link above and make a donation, 'kay? Every little bit helps. Thanks!

How I won the war on food (and you can, too!)

by Sami Harvey

If your kids are anything like mine, at least once a day you’re forced to choose between giving them something healthy and nutritious­­—filled with vitamins and good stuff, and giving them something they will actually eat. It can be the source of much frustration and even more tears (mostly mine), and I mean honestly, as mothers, do we really need another reason to feel the dreaded ‘mommy guilt?’ Do you really want to add “force-fed my child strawberries and Flintstones vitamins” to your long list of reasons why Little Timmy will need ten years of psychoanalyzing in his forties?  Exactly. However, with Memphis being the top-ranking city in terms of obesity, I feel extra compelled to keep my family from becoming part of those statistics. So I had to formulate a plan…

I got down on my kids’ level and took a lesson from them: I got sneaky. I started plotting and scheming—scouring the Internet night after night, desperate to find ways to stick health where they would least expect it. (Insert maniacal laughter here.)

Here’s what I’ve learned: If one thing is true about our kids, it’s that while they may be crafty little buggers, they (thankfully!) aren’t quite smart enough to use deductive reasoning quite yet. They don’t know to put together the fresh-baked treats on the counter with the trash bag filled with empty black bean packaging. They don’t notice that when we have smoothies with lunch, empty bags of spinach, carrot stems and celery stalks are littering the counter, in uncomfortably close proximity to the just-used blender. They’d never guess that lurking in those warm, fluffy pancakes they love so much is a half-day’s worth of vegetables. I found a loophole. I won. (Continue maniacal laughter.)




What you don't see here are the masses of green, leafy things ground up and lurking beneath those friendly garnishes.
(photo credit: the Internet. Thanks, google!)
And while I am always willing to perform covert operations in the name of good health, I am not always willing or able to cook a full-blown meal and the first mutterings of “I’m huuuungry,” from the peanut gallery.   I needed a little help, so I set about demanding more answers from my wisest friend, the Internet.

This is what the Internet gave me.


It’s called NatureBox and it is totally amazing. See, the thing about me is that I totally love the idea of healthful pre-packaged goodness, but I will never be able to justify dropping more than a dollar on some boring single-serve bag of sweet potato chips made with 100% free-range, grass-fed potatoes. I’m glaring at you, Whole Foods. And apparently, the folks at NatureBox already knew that about me, because they do things a little differently. 

Long story short, once a month they send you a box with an array of “nutritionist-approved” treats that are made from real ingredients, with none of those added garbage-y things like hydrogenated oils and syrups, fake flavors and colors, and all of that other nonsense. They’re super affordable, too, which says a lot considering my ridiculously frugal standards. We went with their Family Snacker option, and it breaks down to cost less than $0.75 per snack serving. That’s cheaper than a damn snickers, y’all. Seriously. And the kids freaking love this stuff. Get some little zip lock bags and divide everything up into portion sizes, set them in the pantry, and the next time Bobby Sue is hungry, you can grab one and toss it at her. Underhanded, of course.

Click this link right here to learn all about how great they are. You can enter the code “SHARE” and get $5 off your order, which is cool. 

And because you were so nice and read all the way through this post, here is a recipe for my favorite black bean brownies. 

What you need: 
  • 15-ounce can of black beans, drained and rinsed
  • 3 eggs*
  • 3 Tbsp coconut oil, melted
  • 3/4  cup cocoa powder
  • 1/4 tsp sea salt
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1 cup of brown sugar
  • nuts or chocolate chips or both or neither
*I've heard you can use 2 "flax eggs" in place of the eggs. To do that, you need to put 2.5 Tbsp of flaxseed meal and 6 Tbsp of water in the food processor and mix them together. I just use eggs because I don't raise chickens for nothing.

How to do it:
  1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees
  2. Put everything except the nuts/chocolate chips into your food processor or blender and process for what will seem like a noisy eternity. Scrape the sides and make sure everything is mixed well and blended totally smooth. 
  3. Pour into either an 8" circular pan or into a muffin tin (If you pan/tin is old, take measures to prevent the brownies from sticking)
  4. Bake for 25 minutes or so. 
  5. Let cool just long enough to avoid burning your tongue before getting them out of the pan. They come out easier when they are totally cool, but ain't nobody got time for that. 
Now, get in your kitchen and get to baking. You can thank me later. I'll be waiting.

Sami needs to post recipes more often. Ooh, we should have Effin' Memphis potlucks! Only for the writers, of course. If you want to write about something for Effin' Memphis, just shoot us an e-mail at effinmemphis at gmail dot com! Then you can come to our super secret potlucks and also be in our super secret Facebook writers group.



Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Ew? You Moved To Memphis? Why?

Hey, here's another new writer, named Chris Benson! We want to hear from natives, and we also want to hear from people who moved from elsewhere and have decided to call Memphis home for the long haul. These are their stories... #LawAndOrderSound

by Chris Benson

I am tired of hearing native Memphians talk about my city in such a negative way. Are there problems in Memphis? Yes, but one of the biggest problems we face is the self-deprecating people who refuse to look past the typical urban issues -- issues that we often have in common with all major cities -- to the wonderful culture and events this city has to offer.


Yes, we have crime. Name me a city that doesn't. Hell, even Mayberry had crime. Why else did they need Andy Griffith?

But before you talk smack, check out the awesome activities and places that are right in front of you. Have you been to our world-class zoo lately? Are you going to the world famous Beale Street Music Fest? and when was the last time you visited the Metal Museum, or took advantage of the free Trolley Tours once a month in South Main? The last time you hit The Brooks museum was on a field trip right?

You have to look a little closer to see the gems but they're there, just as shiny as you let them be. Memphis is more than Beale Street, and it's more than Corky's. Memphis is summed up by the passionate, proud people that call it home. Have you seen a crowd of Memphians after a Grizzlies game?

Before you talk trash about where I live, visit The Center for Southern Folklore and get a plate of greens, or stop by the Levitt Shell for a free concert. BETTER YET, get off your fat ass and ride the Greenway.

Just don't forget to lock your car.

Chris Benson has lived in Memphis since the age of ten and has yet to have been shot. She is mother to three rockin' kids and wife to Memphis filmmaker Jeremy Benson.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Change those diapers! (To cloth ones! ) #Mommyhelp


by Sami Harvey


TL;DR VERSION OF THIS POST: The Great Cloth Diaper Change is happening around the world on April 20. Come have fun and win prizes at the local event, which is at G-town Prez Church at 11am. Save the planet, save some money, be a generally more likable person.

If the mention of cloth diapers brings to mind images of bulky napkins held together with sharp pins and plastic pants, then you are missing out, my friends. Things have come quite a long way from the days of old. Nowadays these things come in cute prints and trim styles, and best of all, they are a not-too-inconvenient way to help save the world while saving some money. The internet is already filled with blogs dedicated to telling you how and why cloth diapers are better than the alternative, how they will save you thousands of dollars in your child’s first two years, and how they’ll prevent Armageddon, so I’ll leave that to you to research on your own time. 

However, what I will tell you is all about is this really fun event called The Great Cloth Diaper Change  that’s coming up on April 20th. Mark your calendars, mamas! Once your mother-to-child ratio is greater than 1:0, your memory is deemed unreliable! The Great Cloth Diaper Change (GCDC) is a global event that brings together cloth diapering families to break the Guinness World Record for the most diapers changed simultaneously. The goal of the event is to raise awareness about the benefits of cloth diapers in a real, tangible way.  It’s also a great place to go to touch, feel, and get to know the world of cloth diapers. If you're not currently a cloth diaper enthusiast, there will be tons of other parents who you can badger with questions, as well as local vendors who with lots of “fluff” for sale. (And no, parents, fluff is not code for a strange new street drug.)

Cloth diapers won't necessarily make your baby this cute and squishy, but they certainly can't hurt.

The local GCDC is going down at Germantown Presbyterian Church at 11am SHARP on April 20, 2013. Plan to show up way early so you won’t be late. Believe it or not, you are not so special that the whole world will wait just for you. If you’re late, you won’t be counted. That’s that. End rant. The rules say your kid can come in a disposable diaper, but that (s)he must be changed into a commercially available cloth one during the change. Meaning? Bring cash and buy a cute cloth diaper from one of the on-site vendors prior to 11am, so you can be part of the Guinness World Record. After the main event there will be raffles and other fun stuff to do, as well. Here’s a link to the facebook event for the Memphis GCDC so you can get the low-down on the cool stuff that's unique to the local event. (Like raffles!) 

This year there will be over 285 changes in 17 countries, including Australia, Belgium, Canada, Switzerland, Chile, Germany, Spain, Finland, Great Britain, China, Ireland, Iceland, Italy, Mexico, Malaysia, the Netherlands, and the US.  The 2012 GCDC blew 2011’s results out of the water, so come help do the same this year.

Statistics from previous GCDC events
2011
5,026 changes globally
65 changes locally

2012
8,251 changes globally
65 changes locally

Notice how there was no increase locally last year? Do these hardworking event coordinators a solid, and help make this year really shine. Third time's a charm, right? 

Sami Harvey is one of those self-righteous mothers who takes any chance she can get to post pictures of her kids on the internet. She is also a user of cloth diapers and recommends it to any one else who is frugal, earth-conscious, and has small children who refuse to use the toilet like a civilized human. She's also happy to answer any questions you have about cloth diapers, or to at least point you in the direction of someone who knows more than she does.


Thursday, April 11, 2013

YOU'RE GOING TO PLAY OUTSIDE, AND YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE IT!

by Adam Hurst


You're either born this way or you aren't.  You can't teach this.
Hello! I'm Adam, and I'm one of your new Effin' Memphis contributors! It will be my job to keep you all informed about all the things to do in Memphis and the Mid-South that involve getting outside and playing.  Your Effin' Memphis Editor, who happens to have known me for three decades and, FULL DISCLOSURE, is also my brother, (*cough*unpaidnepotism!*cough*), has long maintained that I'd be most suited in a career where, for whatever reason, someone gave me actual money to go outside and play. Well, to an extent, I have found that job and this here computer blergin' will be an extension of that. That's not to say that I won't ever delve into a different topic that interests me, but mostly I'm gonna stick to what I know best. You peoples can argue about school mergers and basketballs, but I kinda cherish my role as the overgrown kid of the bunch. I have always been uniquely overqualified to fill this role.

You see, Memphians love to talk about how there Isn't Shit To Do Here.  And yes, it is a fact that Memphis has no mountains, or beaches, or whitewater, or large lakes or an “agreeable climate" of any kind, but to say there isn't anything good to do outside here is just lazy and ignorant. Lazy, lazy, lazy. And so, so ignorant.  AND, considering the fact that last year Memphis was named the fattest city in the nation -- no, congrats on that, everyone, really -- our problem clearly isn't an overabundance of awareness about healthy activities available to us each day. We take for granted that we sit on two amazing rivers, each with its own history and culture surrounding it. And yes! You can paddle on them both! We have a burgeoning community of cyclists, being constantly strengthened by increasing community awareness and support, and by some of the awesome infrastructure and policy improvements our city government is making. We have TONS of youth and adult sports leagues, with a team and a place for every skill level. We have kickball, bike polo, hashers, full & half marathons, soccer, CycleMemphis, countless clubs and conservation groups, and races of every flavor over water, pavement and trails, by boat, by bike and on foot. There is, in fact, Shit To Do Here. So I'm going to do my best to highlight all of that.  Sooner or later there'll be another tab up top that will tell you about area races, events, destinations and organizations that will help get you back outside and having fun like you did when you were a kid.*  So, I'll do my best to keep that tab updated, and you'll start doing your best to get back out and enjoy the world outside the walls you're so accustomed to these days. Deal?

By the way, if I miss something that you feel should be promoted, contact us at effinmemphis at gmail dot com!  Want to know about some specific place or event around these parts? Want to ask an expert about outdoors gear or equipment? Want to hear about ways you can give back to the local conservation scene?  LET US KNOW and we'll do what we can to get y'all squared away now, y'hear?

Also, here is one more picture from the photo shoot above:


See if you can guess which one is me and which one is your Effin' Memphis Editor.

*ASIDE: American children aren't leading the lives we led growing up, by and large. Various studies have now suggested that on average, American kids experience about six to eight hours of “screen time” per day, engaged with either TV, video games, computers or mobile devices. The only thing they spend more time doing is sleeping...if they're even getting that.

Adam Hurst didn't know when the above pictures were taken that one day a few years into the future, your Editor would reach his wits' end listening to the noises made by one of Adam's toy guns, grab it and break it over his knee and make him cry. That was really shitty of him. Your Editor does admit, though, that the above picture was completely staged, that he was on to his parents' adorable "look at the big mound of dirt! FUN!" ploys to convince the children to do manual labor from the very beginning, and that he took a shower as soon as humanly possible after said photo was taken.

Liz Rincon: Why I've Chosen To Stay In Memphis

From time to time, we'll give space to people who live here and, for myriad reasons and with myriad opportunities to do otherwise, have stuck around. From time to time, we'll also be doing "exit interviews" with people who love Memphis but, for whatever reason, are leaving, SO THAT WE MAY BOO AND HISS AT THEM ON THE WAY OUT. No, just kidding. But when people leave, we want to hear from them too. Liz Rincon has lived here long enough to call herself a default native, and has become a familiar face both in politics and the nonprofit world. She's run campaigns all over the country, and she's had ample opportunity to pick and leave. Instead, she just started her own political/nonprofit consulting firm in Cooper-Young. Here, she explains why she's sticking around.

by Liz Rincon

Memphis has always been a weird, artistic and somewhat complicated city. Maybe this is why I fell in love with it so many years ago. It was on a field trip with my 4th grade class in 1990 when I first visited the "Bluff City," a trip which would change my life. At the time I had no idea that only a few short years later, I would officially call Memphis my home.

That short class trip from Northwest Arkansas was designed to teach the students about the American musical legacy born out of Memphis. I remember coming across the Hernando Desoto Bridge and seeing the Memphis skyline and it took my breath away. To this day, I do not believe that anyone else on that trip had the same reaction. As soon as we checked into our hotel rooms, I was the first one unpacked and ready to explore this place. I came home to tell my parents what an amazing trip it had been, and that one day I planned on moving to Memphis. I told them about Beale Street (back then, kids could walk it at night), the Mud Island River Museum and all the interesting people that I ended up talking to on the street. I am sure that my mother was not too thrilled about the talking to strangers part. Regardless, the people that I met then were some of the most fascinating folks I had ever had the privilege to talk to. Memphis had a dark but intriguing quality about it that has stuck with me since my feet hit the bluff. Darkness is not necessarily a bad thing; it can fuel imagination and drive. Where do you think the Blues comes from?

A few years later my mother sat me down at the dining room table to tell me that my dad had been offered a job in Memphis. It had been some time since I came home from that class trip and she was worried that I would not handle the news too well. I looked at her and started to jump up and down. Yes! We were moving to my hometown!

Twenty-one years later, I am lucky that I have been able to make a career for myself here. I have heard for years and years, "get out and make something of yourself" as if moving away is some sort of badge of honor. While it is true that I am a political strategist and have lived all over this great nation working on campaigns, I have managed to keep my home here the entire time. I've worked in amazing cities that have a lot to offer. Chicago with its progressive communities, artistic flair, amazing food and, of course, the Cubs. Pittsburgh with its grit, its weird Steeler Sunday traditions and rich labor history. I've been lucky to work in these and other cities, but strangely enough, working in those cities also solidified my love of Memphis. Whenever I would come home after a campaign, I would throw myself into Memphis culture. BBQ, music, going to Overton Park or just having a good glass of wine on a patio with friends. This is a city that gets in you and does not let go. I consider it a badge of honor that I am here, that I did not leave.

I have worked twenty-two campaigns, been the executive director of a national nonprofit, worked on Capitol Hill and lobbied on many different organizations' behalf. I am honored to take all that experience and start my own political strategy firm based right here in Memphis. We are a Memphis-centric firm that works with organizations to improve the quality of our city, to encourage people to make their home here and to then invest back into the community. Our candidates for office want to see Memphis improve and move forward, our clients are invested in the city and my team is committed to staying here to make Memphis work. I look forward to contributing to Effin' Memphis, because Memphis is weird and so am I.

And dammit, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Liz Rincon is also a Midtown mom, and her three year-old daughter has started to pick up Liz's catchphrase, which is "Make it happen!" Like the Facebook page for Liz's new firm, Elizabeth Rincon and Associates, right here.